Often, it’s the end goal that’s the main focus when someone considers becoming a foster carer: the moment they can support a young person in a safe and secure home. Which is amazing. But let’s not forget that to make this happen, and for someone to have a successful fostering journey, there need to be a lot of support for foster carers in place ‘behind the scenes’.
Kirsty is one of our Supervising Social Workers in Bridgend. She’s been a social worker for fifteen years, and part of the Foster Wales Bridgend team for twelve years. If you’re lucky enough to know Kirsty, you’ll realise you’re in safe hands!
We want to shine a light on the wonderful work that our social workers do alongside our foster carers. How their support has helped our foster carers to thrive, and how Foster Wales Bridgend works hard to be one team with foster families to better care for our children.
In this blog, Kirsty shares stories about her relationships with various foster families, on the following topics:
- Supporting foster carers caring for siblings
- Supporting foster carers with their own children
- Supporting foster carers who work alongside fostering
supporting foster carers caring for siblings
We do our very best to find foster families that can care for siblings, keeping brothers and sisters together as much as possible. We asked Kirsty about a time in her career on this topic:
“I supervise a carer, J, who is providing long-term foster care for three siblings. They have now lived with J for over ten years, and he thinks of them as his own children.
All three siblings have a very close relationship, and J believes that being able to keep them together has been key to them settling in and feeling secure in his care. He shared with me that if they had been separated, it would’ve caused them stress and anxiety, with each of them finding it much more difficult to settle.
J has been wonderful in providing such a loving home for all three siblings, and we’re so grateful that he has been able to care for them for such a long time.”
supporting a foster family who have their own children
We know that fostering isn’t just a choice you make for yourself. It affects your whole family and support network, including your own children. Some people come to us worried about the impact that fostering would have on their birth children, but in reality, it can be a fantastic way of them learning new skills, becoming more empathetic, and having more buddies to play with!
“Many of the foster carers I support have children of their own. It is always amazing to see how open these children are to sharing their homes and families with other children.
One of my foster families consists of the foster parents and their two teenage children, who care for an eight-year-old girl long-term. She has been living with the family for four years and as well as having a great relationship with her foster carers, she is also very close to the two teenagers who view her as their little sister. The older children have told me that they can’t imagine their family without her now. Not all fostering is long-term but in this particular case it will be, and therefore expectations have been managed to reflect this.
I also supervised carers who provided a home for a young boy five years of age, right up until he turned 18. He continued to live with them for a while after is eighteenth birthday. The foster carers’ own two children, who are several years older, think of him as a brother and they maintain their close relationship now as adults.
Many children have complex needs, both fostered and birth children, but for some of our carers this hasn’t been a barrier to them fostering. I support a few carers whose own children have additional needs such as ASD. With careful matching, these carers have been able to meet their own children’s needs whilst also fulfilling their role as a foster carer.
One particular carer in mind has a nine-year old son who is on the autistic spectrum, and she fosters a six-year-old boy too. The two boys get on very well, and the six-year-old can be protective of the older boy. For example, he comforts and soothes him if he gets frustrated or upset. The foster carer feels that the relationship between the two boys has benefitted both of them. It gives her own son more opportunities to play and get used to being around other children, whilst also enabling the six-year-old to cultivate his caring nature and understand that diversity is a positive thing.
Of course it’s not all easy. There have inevitably been times where foster carers’ own children have found it difficult to gel with foster children. Or they’ve maybe found some of the foster child’s behaviours upsetting and difficult to live alongside. This can obviously be a challenging situation for foster carers, but we’re always there to support them and figure out the best solution for everyone.
In such circumstances I have found it necessary to encourage the foster carers own children to share how they feel, and to ensure that they’re listened to. The children’s support worker team sit near us in the office so as a local authority we can find solutions effectively, as we are all under the same roof.
It is so important for us to have a good relationship with foster families, so that they feel they can speak to us about anything they need to. For them to be given the opportunity to be honest, and for that to be heard and acted upon.”
supporting foster carers who work alongside fostering
“Fostering can be very versatile. I supervise a few foster families whereby both carers (or the carer, in the case of a single carer) have other jobs alongside their fostering role. In such cases, it’s important to understand what the foster carer’s availability and capacities are, to ensure that they are only approached to care for children that they can commit to.
Some people who become foster carers and also work prefer to provide respite care, or short-breaks. It’s a valuable role that enables them to enjoy fostering without it affecting their employment. However I have also supervised working carers who have been able to provide both short-term and long-term fostering. This is due to factors such as what their typical working day looks like and employers allowing for flexible working hours. It’s made it possible for them to effectively balance their work and fostering.
I have therefore seen first-hand that there is a lot of scope for the fostering role to fit around a carers existing employment. It requires both the foster carers and their supervising social worker to be realistic and understanding about what can and can’t be achieved, and what support is available for their fostering journey to be a successful one.”
Foster Wales Monmouthshire have written a helpful blog on fostering and working – read it here.
social workers are just one pillar of support for our foster carers
Fostering with your local authority means fostering alongside a whole team of people who want you to succeed. Who want every child to succeed. Our teams are based in the same building – in fact, in Bridgend, our foster carers social workers, and children’s social workers work about ten paces away from each other! This enables our communication and problem-solving to be done efficiently, supporting together.
We have regular coffee support mornings, where foster carers can meet up and help each other work through things. We often have guest speakers attend, sharing information on useful topics such as therapeutic care. There are a number of experienced foster carers who have taken on the role of providing advice and a listening ear for other foster carers.
As a local authority foster carer, the relationship you build with your social worker and wider teams is unique and special. It goes beyond the fostering process, creating a bond for years to come.
Find out what you can bring to the table as a local authority foster carer and how you can benefit from support, training, and life-long connections.
Contact us today!
